Tuesday, September 13, 2011
the birds are in discussion outside this sliding glass door...down on the floor the carpet is warmed from the sun,the hum of the computer and the typing of these rusty old fingers is like food for my soul. Up in this head theres a fuzzy feeling that was fleeting for many months,the cause of several problems,and why my exs wish me dead. Past those thoughts theres a sad boy,all he wants is a hand to hold in his and have understand,but shes out east...or down south...or a mile and a half away,its strange to be in discussions about anything,it means somthing to me (to us) the grand scheme of this intricat web ive weaved,still the streets beckon for me like a light house or steeple,but the people I miss most are all dead and buried,scarey that all my friends are dying or getting married,and I just document it all. I cant wait to burn these writings,watch them float into eternity...see myself become the mysterious figure I forgot to meet at the party,the one whos smile is alarming,and wits are charming...who could talk you into a dream. because my reality is a dream,it always has been...high school was like fast times,and Im slamming vans into my head. the rest of the time has been outlined to describe to myself how grimey I can get,sleeping in cars and eating various drugs to never forget,never surrender. this isnt glamour in any sense,and in no way am I proud of this,it simply is. without pain there is no glory,and without fear and love there is no story,and for me to be forming plot,to allow them to be boring is about the worst thing that I could ever do,so I paint a non objective portarit of karma for the intrested audience to see,because for me,this life is a brainstorm,one long beautiful,gloruius odysessy,that will take me from the pacific ocean to the seas of tripoli. in what way I reach this is unconsequental,in what manner I get living is in what manner I choose,and for the ones that I love you will know so soon...because to rest for a minute is one minute far too long for yours truely...to rest for a minute is unwarented...I can sleep when I reach heaven,and calva is my next door neighbor.