donate to ya boy

Sunday, April 29, 2012


I still human
humiliated to ruins
proof lower tiers can have some use... the bottle is passed around this roof
this tiny bed is a tomb
to some
...complaints strewn about the room
my love
I have no money...but a steady aim and cunning linguistics
yet your eyes keep me from formulating sentences
which is the first time i haven't had a single syllable to spit
and my syllabus for life never informed me of this
falling in love with my best friend could I be granted so many wishes?
so many terrors that strike down my limits
this gut wrenching vomit that sits upon limbic system
controlling every difference as if I were mimicking some instances
but god fucking dammit.
...if you can't see the way you look at me...or the way I look at you
there should be not a single word pursued...actions speak louder I've heard..
but movements keep us starboard...and I couldn't bare the thought to loose you
so my it were...was our night a few months ago...when I told you I loved you
and you didn't speak a word

not that it matters.

it just hurts.
this patience is lunacy
if I practiced what I preached I wouldn't be interfering in things
no such things as normal cases...I way the wages and how they attest to these days
eyes like oilspills...and I'm filled with pain
I wish you could see this brain...the way it burns like a lake....
the obligations I have to GOD and the way I was made..
faint trust...yet...Im still catching waves as I break north
west...where ever this compus rose brings it is..
these old friends...with so many new problems
the upward struggle
as if i was confident....
in reality I'm just arrogant and lost...trying to piece together fragments of these thoughts
no plots...I just can't bare the thought of losing you
...and this to me is the most damnig proof
but is it truth?
do I really care.
do I ever do...
Im carried on the winds of your love..the trails of loose fitting tuxs
is a sign that I am one man...who gives as much as he gets
but can barely even afford..anything

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

bring your darkness

ripped off several zips
my appreciation of lips got the best of me
I spent time wrestling the pavement last night
flight of the lost words
morning of open sores..
as if I had no more worries.
no more ounce of beauty left in these finger tips
no more breath left to express the beauty in this head..
festering thoughts I wished were dead
all come rushing back like a whirlwind..
if I didn't sin
then jesus died for nothing.

battery symbol

its one of those days where it feels great to be a
eyes sunk and scars from the things you wish you'd remembered you'd done...
some times it comes at a
theres even walled marts & targets to get your dick off
...or the marine corp..
or unemployment without a single care in the world.
time spent roaming river valleys and dormitories
formal apologies to every one you've ever loved
time spent without a fare in the world
but it gets so old.
so lonely
I hate who most have think I've become...
when for once in my life I've just been being myself lately.
it can be heaven on earth
worth every ounce of breathe
every pire of

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

with my head half gone...will I carry on?


the pacific is bleeding
& im breathing heavier with every seizure
barometric pressure sways me like reasons
& I trust my mind a little to much ...
my gut...
says sit right here for once
tell your story from a level head
for once.
dont succumb to your peers..
this is your home...and the most beautiful curse are these purple mountains that keeps those stars
in your scars..burning
her eyes...
tell so many stories
and all I do is listen to our recordings
in an empty apartment
but I woke up this morning with no fear in my heart
so this evening life restarts
of the words that flutter over our


Monday, April 23, 2012


gentle sunset...
bring upon the nights lights
let the needle drop...
progress threw a sound mind
minus a lifetime of grief & turn it into out cries
over valleys draped in mythology
I find
my eyes see better with an out pouring of timelines
shooken awake
I reside on a fault line
between doing whats wrong
& doing whats right.
I might
never tell her how much I love her
...but tonight
that all could change forever
but so
these endeavors haunt and shape the way I think
why Im so quiet
ever so contemplative
...does the lion always roar?
does the wind always whistle...
its these visceral moments that are so pivotal.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


theres a chariot in my future
blue tooth enabled and all that BUFU
loose leaf blunts keep me
strung out on the cool calm circuits of my coincidental tendencies
(what fucking ever it is)
tucking with every roll of thunder If I had never seen a cadaver
will you come home with me ... this open road and see..
whisper abra kadabra...make this heart stop spazzing
buzzing off a landfill buzz.
LAX back to DFW
we play still empty handed...scat across these mirrors
bodies aflame...hugging
shits weird,son. it begins in this old house....somewhere around twilight... Its somewhat familiar. It reminds me of a composite of Lakewood, Colorado (where I'am at the moment) & Arlington, Texas(where I was born). Its incredibly dark...and by that I mean everything. Shadows creep into every crevice and corner...even in lighted areas. Theres incredible foliage...miles of vines covering the houses...huge trees...healthy,lush & full vibrant forest green grass. I'm standing outside with,whom I would assume, are more real discernible features or personalities...teetering on the edge of props. The clear sky then explodes from certain areas with a few stars had gone supernova ...but then there was this sound...a huge sonic boom, for some reason I recognized it as "entering the atmosphere" or that moment I wasn't sure...the clear sky gave way to storm clouds with such unimaginable ferocity and & my companions hurried that moment the storm clouds were teeming and seething with electricity...the lightning bolts danced around the clouds so instinctively and effortlessly...the entire sky was energy,and it was emitting otherworldly colors...pulsating blue and pinks...maroons...I clearly remember standing behind the others,who were joined by some "parental" figure ( I assume) their sillouttes are dimmed by the commotion in the sky...and just like that a pulsating beam of energy,or spacecraft of some sort barrels threw the clouds...almost directly in the spot of where the large sound had come rushed over the house filling the entire dwelling with light...I then rushed out the front door to watch it land...completely disregarding the magnificent peril that lay out of that front door... as I opened the door I saw a whole city engulfed in flames...the lightning and colors still swirling around...and then nothing... suddenly its morning...Im covered in sweat on a hot cobblestone street in what seems to be jerusalem...or some middle eastern country...I am huddled over in a ball dry heaving the contents of my body onto the floor...
I don't rest in my sleep
dreams bring attacks of anxiety
I dry heave on the cobblestone streets
as the dark sky is filled with lightning.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


I need to run threw dusty sunsets
legs stretched out long in boxcars
orchestras of fiddles and saws
our hearts refilled like the whiskey in our jars.
this endless waltz has me hung up on thought
more so
I'am just wanting to wake up...
but its know
sitting here in complete amenity...contemplating infinities
examining our symmetry...
without a single concept of
Im in love
each & every single moment we speak
each &
every night that we sleep
entangled in each others body heat
just sweet

Sunday, April 15, 2012

tiny grandpa in a pocket

on the thought of you
like a siamese twin.
its your laughter I rerun
all day in my head...
like its been said
now & again...
...threw your soft breaths
or my heavy winds.
you are the butter
to my bread...
fed love threw open roads...
singed memories we'll add to our memoirs when were older
its playtime right now...let the answers we seek be so...
bold claims & calm strokes
heart attacks of fear...because we're so in love.
we're such lushes...
hips shutter & wake as the waves break
and the next door neighbors start their day...
and the sun is in my eye
i need some time...this time though forget to think for a minute
let my soul mirror the flow...
let the script do its business..Ill play my role...of the heart broken or hero...
collect the dust in this frontal lobe
ashes scattered to the wind two years ago
because I know the pain of letting go.
we've grown so old together...
grown so wise...
examined our very souls with microscopes!
been there in spirit so many times..
lost so many friends to the tides..
but we still cuddle so close!
huddleing for warmth on these cold april mornings
when the hail falls
and the whiskey flows.
our stories of home...childhood...parents and siblings...young and old...
I wish I could stay in this moment...
in these pajamas..
under these covers...
with my lovers...giggiling uncontrollably...
until summer finally decides to show.
but we have the rest of our lives to unfold...
holding hands & blowing smoke
watching the dogs battle like gladiators in our own little universe
these moments
I cherish

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


out of sight
...I had to go all night.
writing till my hand cramped
...then I started
actin like a
got back to the
had lots of fuckin
it wasn't till I
how in
the hell
was I coming down


post modern setback
flawless victory for checks cashed
lush trash in debt fast
gurillea tactics in head wraps

mad jazz in the bread stash
untaxed & half haz
yet I'm in over my head & brash
ghost in a matrix of mixed bags.

lego of my head stash
i need to feel alive as...
the dying side proprietor of philosophy and left hands
hire..HIRE! now deciphering a boasting deaf like coke feds

shedding the tread from this brain I encompass like boat meds
flailing like shapes on a DMT rompus and L fad
function will trumpet my skull like a pumpkin and scar masked
that carriages this glass slipper to sippers on this ill fitting purity rag

though I sing in the night...

I am but a wrapper

trapped in the power lines...

stained by the process of why..

Monday, April 9, 2012


ghosts of a current future keep dialing me up
askin "what is love"
do you wanna fuck?
these pretty broads aura is such a facade
I pop off tops of scotch
pour it up...nod off...
chemical dependancies have faded
its the out dated ways in which we weigh or strength...
wailing to a horizon of baby blues and pink...
the length of time I was in sync
with my backstreet ploys
follies in a mirage of underground policies
D.I.Y or die


I need a rich girl like I need a brain aneurism
all the pathways blazed by my mind decode my algorithms
fact & fiction...all in due process & symmetry
objectified looks into a mirror on the other side of these..
fountains of knowledge pour over me
my eyes bleed for I know not what I speak...
I simply move and breathe
and am at one with grief.
it seems my soul purpose is mischief in this creek
the one which empties into the stream...
my adolescence is behind me,
but the lessons haunt,hunt & continually blind me
I keep fending for moonbeams..
and trying to replace her with every other woman I see..
my soul is are these hands...
but these feet...
they continually seek...
and will dig the grave that will bury me.

Sunday, April 8, 2012


to me it question is to be free sentence fragments I speak
a paradox has begun to lay siege
no further theories...
this full head tells tales of sacred scripts so parallel with deceit
programing spars with creation
and its never as clean as it should be...
hearts are so dug into the speech
but my love is for all...and to not be chained to one belief...
in this sense
I have tasted defeat..
and the humor I mask it with is more then fear
its whole...of sound body and soul
an astrial plateau forged of diamond
& gold.
be all you can be....

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Let us roll now
you and I
let our blunt smoke blaze up the skyline
devine stylistics like a statistician
composite hybrids...lest I mention.
least of all I find attention is my greatest downfall in this microscissim
I sound off,
while pounding down rounds at grand halls
pinch of sawdust...gasoline and orange juice concentrate
big bang...
theories of a modern mage.
wage garnishment and a sense of complacency
consistently replacing the things I see
in and out of brain waves & deceit
defeating the demons who hound me constantly
tragically,the only tragedy that effects me is random ODs
and the D.O.C's
thats why my J O B
is keeping myself unseen
clean...grimey type word schemes
Im a ma fuckin' fiend for luxury.