Moon and I develop this radioactive turntable that shoots gamma rays into space,well anyway we decided one day to go on the roof of our apartment and see if it was capable of inter dimensional tears in the fabric of time and space. It was,god damnit,so we lunged into a time traveling rollercoaster that is loosely based on the "Quantam Leap" series. Im the good looking one,Moon,the guardian. Our first stop was ancient pompay,on the very day of the eruption that decimated the city state,well I wasnt about to be baked by this gelatinous lava lake,so I pulled out a pinner and went to comandear a fishing vessel,giving free joints to all the sinners,seeing if I could truly develop myself as the skanky jesus. I sat on the corner,and rock quardrys of the city,deciding if I should stay here to be a messiah,or at least the towns prettiest bachelor of notarity and scholar. I pondered and pondered and it wasnt till that moment I remembered I should jet the fuck out before this city becomes a wax musem and kinder. Moon telepathiclly reached me,screaming he says "I think I just scored with most beautiful woman...she had hair of snakes that made my dick hard as cement! In fact Im feeling round 42!" Jesus I muttered under my breath as the tiny ship hit the open waters."what a lucky bastard...why do I never get laid." The volcano exploded,at the same time Mr.Moon got medussa preagnut,he could tell,he claimed,by the way her snakes screamed. On the medeterannian sea,I watched the decimation of the once mighty pompay,and then I wrote the very first copy of "Alexander and his no good,very bad day." In which,I played the protaginist of alex,and Mr.Moon created the destruction of my favorite historical city state.
We quantum leaped the next day.it was hot as fuck on that boat and I had to poop,and it seems as though when I need a bowel movement I quantum leap time and space,moon claims he made it that way,I just gave up and belive everything he says. We awoke in 1960s berkley,we both had viles of lsd and pounds of hashish,we didnt question how they got their we just closed are eyes and squealed. We looked like to japanese school girls who won the spelling bee. It was sweet,emeresed in the hippy culture,introducing those assholes to better 21st century weed,and their 20th centruy,circa albert hoffman lsd. We tripped for what seemed like days,until these ladies we met got us into a lenny bruce show without pay and that moment of realization came,we could be stuck here on acid until modern days. Mind you this is pre microwave,pre cable...limited hydroponic haze! We could barely go an hour without sports center updates,and chris berman is probally currently shitting in his pants,so the only thing logically to do was place bets on everything. We became kingpins of berkely,and soon the bay,making all our money off gambaling and smoking the stash away,I have to admit for a while we had it made. Long days of orgys and showers with flower empowered girls who are probally our friends mothers,or grandmothers...making us possibly our homeboys fathers. This turned us into confused zombies,romaing the streets on heads full of lucy,we came to city lights book store in san fran.Loosely for a little bit we had fancied ourselves as ferlengetti and ginsberg,we wanted to see what they were like in their own time,dropping the prophet status and the glory. We mustered up the courage,and finally walked in,as the time warp fucked us over again.No skanky Jesus returning,to no joining of a movement...no now 1800s saloon with all dusty frowns eyefucking my body,and moons too...somehow we had become lawmen of the days of highnoons. Quick and the dead,we shot every one in the room,later explaing we had mistaken some priests as bandits all huddled over the spitoon, a pretty useless murder spree,but we were getting used to the cranage that had ensued. Ever since those acid years,or months,our brains been in orbit around pluto. Which in this western setting was still a planet,yet we were forgeting we needed to vanish,downing shots of the local morphine supply off of the doctor we excecuted was risky buisness especially since his daughter,a lovely waitress at the bar,had been shot by one of our stray bullets.Swigging the morphine,chased by a shot of burbon,I approached the teenage girl and went into speech to try and explain the days events,this morbid scene of rowdy boy reminicents (moon knows what im talking about.we pound fists.righteous shit!) shes sobbing so I brush the hair from her eyes,see those big blue ovals peppered with fear and delight. She grabs my finger and twists it in her sweating palms,fixed on my glare. Asking what are my plans for the night? well,I begin,i guess the laws the fugitive on account of all these executions. She asks to come with,moons so fucked off the medicinal heroin he passes out in his drool.Me and the dame carry him out to a few painted horses. We ride threw the night,south colorado,west texas bound. We stop over in santa fe,set up camp on the outer limits of the new mexican town. I apologize for taking her fathers life,explain my story. We laugh and cry. We make love all night as moon keeps rolling his body into the fire,letting out hoots and hollerins
I explain to her I want this to be the rest of my life...I wake up on the pavement of a synogoge,groggy and hungover,Mr moons vomiting in the bushes,as a rabbi pats his back,just then the 5.0 show up and step in...
we will continue this...at some point or some shit