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I could say the right word
do the exact thing that makes you live again
speak no artifical hope
blow nothing but quality dope smoke until my lungs whistle like a train
Ive sprained these thumbs trying to get a ride
night in and night out
ive got a boquet of lies thats nothing to write home about
but you
youve got the most painfully beautiful deep and sad eyes
I want you to ride this crossroad boxcar over the pautomic down to the gulf
spend a night
in cresent city as we drink until the suns been up all morning
spend another night at the levy
armed with trainwreck and a semi automatic weapon
in the morning
coffee and a 7 hour trip down I-10
austin comes quick with no hints of assasination attempts
a glimpse into the daily happenings of a classy gentleman
ease
listening to my heart beat
ive felt my feet tap out relays
nothing stays the same
in these the otts
a rude way to constrict time and space in new ways
ive found odd times where the moon and sun shined so bright ive laid intertwined
in the ideas that i had,finally, lost my mind
though I place these notes into a bottle and toss it to sea
hopefully someone out there is just as confused as me
just as open to turning the course of this water tredding submarine
just as noble as a facade of revelry
no more understatements
only factual agreements that we had been stuck
move
stick
move
glimpse into the overgrowth

no water...only pumpin mountain dew

slugs of electrolytes is bout the only thing keepin me alive as of late
bump.bump.bump
cocaine sundays is forced upon the brainstem...
ah youthful bliss...the exact equivilant to retarted arrogance
go to wal greens...get some syrenges
in order to assist in your death...I must spot shoot into my chest..
ABSYSS
it glistenes in the sun...so rest...
now run until your hearts pumping motor oil
or swallow the next round of my doctor perscriptions with a bottle of london
...card game after card game...
a gentlemans way to end the flurry of bullet bed ridden sins
settle down girls...ill cum again..the vital organs are just as tired as I was..
but celbacy seems like the way to keep these ladies as entertained as I be
ratata tatatatt
dead is what this heart be
alive from the constant lady bug stings from all over the country
swiss cheese from all the love thats games ive been risking since my first clit
falling asleep while praying to the LORD I see the MORNING
mourning times come again,but another bottle of adavant wont kill me
another line of oxy codene will only poc mark my skin
in the midst of drug abuse the days turn into a long march to the end
the only way to forget about all this is get back to the elongated sentence i say to myself
"jesus loves me...and all that other shit."

^%&*(()__

scooters...vacation...fall
mall...states...holocaust
lost...moms...pedafile
chainsaw...LSD...cincinatti
agraphobia...GOD...lust
summer...blumpkin...mushrooms
psychosis...heat-wave...train station

and you would...


mention relentlessly that the only thing holding you back is me..we were holding the reigns of our own life...and you misdirected your speech when you started feeling sorry for what you preceive my time to be...as any opiate addict will tell you the relif is only temporary...the relif is replaced by a release...the release is a net for your feet
and the blood rushes to your head.

ive been coming down for years now
ive been cleaning out my ears and ounly found my frontol lobe
ive been crying myself out of sleep to awake drenched in tears
fearing the only thing ill do now is tear down i-70...intentions on burning denvers streets to the underground


saturn crashes into the clouds

you wake up on a day such a today and you say: consumerisim dosent have its grip on me...and you tryied to be strong on christmas...but you got shit faced and one of your best friends said he railed that bitch...you know...the one you wanted to have valentines day with...but thats denver...this is pittsburgh...no new set of rules...just no one to talk to..its one of those few times i feel like breaking down and crying...hidding the fact that i am not strong...im just lost....scared...like all of us...but out my saftey zone...no nets to catch me...haha fuck it...i have a smile...so no sad lonely phone calls for me tonight to one of the sets of eyes across the united states...no arms rapped around my chest...no lover saying she loves me...or the concept she sees...no gently sweat kissed palms with their fingers intertwined in mine...no sweet kisses to my temple as my arms wrap around her thighs...im comfortable with suicide...its just not the time...no martyrisim in the years that individuality is the only thing worth dying for...ive been coughing up sand since i woke up,my face cleaned...only streaked by the saltwater rivers on these dust covered cheeks...in a swirling wind of the shit storm we kicked up i looked to my best friends to look into me...they say im a lunatic...i miss sam...joe...brent...I miss those nights in the brothel when i was the only man between two houses full of women...i miss those bike rides threw the graveyard to escape washing dishes for a living...to escape my Public defenders conversations...I miss those fridays where i cuddled with my mother watching television until pops and brother came home...i miss justin...sometimes i want to fall victum to to mexican train tracks,whisky and bennys...this is for neal cassidy the back bone to this fucked up brainstem I roll with consistently...I havent seen a doctor since the seizures began...since the ideas of how much diteriation can occur in a four year GO..I cough up my lungs into the night...I tempt fate again in the morning...I break down in a pile of myself on the floor...covered in snot tears and hope...that tomorrow wont feel like this suburban curse of cookie cutter homes...cookie cutter women...I bash my forehead threw the stain glassed window of the local church...i quietly laugh and mumble...give me back my bullets...ive been torn threw the machinery of slavery in the mask of salvation for no other reason then being the SON...of what I preceive as a reality...I miss her...the one that started this all...ill sanp her neck if i see her again...or ill stand there..awkward,,,not say a word then be hit in the mouth for not being in love...as she sees it

≈≤߬圕º–∑ø∆

Ive got this gut feeling,she resides down 35 from my old folks home.Ive got this sarcastic backbone...in the mountains,somewhat of a clone,but a little more intense then bull riding a dinosaur.Ive got this card up my sleeve,and she and I would fool the minons who be,slaving away now...as she seems to be. I had my bumble bee...but thats years ago now..my mind at the present lay four hours south west at a birthday party for this girl I met a month ago...writing a book about driving across country writing a book...and I finally just want to talk to someone. This isnt lust im feeling in any sense...nor is it love because ive been there before..no this is a cosmic kick in the teeth of some great repeating cycle of diminensonal interloop that I just introduced into playing with or puting concept into two sentences ago...im having these dreams and their all lives ive lived before...maybe its from being raised by television since birth,but im alarmed...and so are others and their armed..ive got some clothes,documents and ideas with me...I dont even say a word about it to her...it feels like i have butterflies in my stomach being torn apart in a black hole..i cant explain simple theroies ive been toying with for months...Im confused to if shes my savior or my eden of this garden full of pomegranates...four letter words are scarce in her presence...i cant test the waters of full on speech yet...i mutter regrets outloud and intensely quiets...its as awkward as it sounds and seems it would be...shes the mary magnoland to my skanky jesus...look and act and its all sweet and precious till were sharing chairs eating with each other stairing at bear and lou on a monday afternoon...I liked it...anyway I neglect to say other things (like drinking a beer before lunchtime (even worse we had breakfast for lunch so it seemed earlier then 2))...my times off anyway...ive been sailing across country an a manifest destiny type of mission living my american dream...things i need for my head...and once words can accuratley define the glory ive seen threw these eyes...then maybe ill have the balls to talk her into making an indian headress with I...us playing shaman and cheif...living in a teepee smoking dmt...or nothing at all...because generally her talks calm me more than the roll of smoke has ever done...I laugh harder too...three quarters of a decade and another bowl threw...and I have the audacity to talk about this...this...its been what it is for centuries now...shilverys not dead...you just have to bring em out,BRING EM OUT!...what woman dosent secretly to have a reminder that some one cares...what man dosent...im not on a panty raid...because thats what we want to think that all there is...is more...but friends are there when you need them the most...and if you destroy every notch on that bed post...which whore will comfort you more...which one do you look to the most..number 4...4...which woman will you have to hold...the one who has your child, or the one who you call your old ball and chain,the one who wants you home...i call for my queen of the road...my power animal is a lion...i wait for a lioness to approach...and if she did....after all these generatoins of a metaphysical and spiritual changes maybe I have found that ship mate...i ll do my best to give her the galaxy...and a bathtub that she can smoke blunts in with me...gold feet...a window on a mountain over looking the sea...i kinda understand what leah was saying new years eve...or one of those pesky days of the week...that dont even exsist in my reality

A Plee...and some new music

Racisim thrives silently at the top of the ascended ladder of our political system. Globalization at its basis is uthinasia..the ghettos skeletons are being picked dry by the government vultures that circle our camps waiting to introduce the next big SCARE..and my brothers and sisters are HUMAN! Their culture may have origonated over seas or down south,but by god their just like you or me. I see the fear in the eyes of children...sweet deprogramed puppets...listen to your gangstar rap,bust your caps and fuck your bitches...sit down and mull over how empty you are...hit the clubs,choke down as much liquor as you can...its sad when our heros have gone from carl lewis to the situation...he seems like he may be a genuine guy...but MTV got to him first and he never staired aldof hitler in the eye...I wish I could say it was as simple as color too...but no its the peaseants to the monarchy...the dark ages are coming again and the only way to pull it out is a renissance...being a student of history i feel comfortable saying this..and being a student of logic I feel as though we've lost a collective brain of art and culture to a WAY things are suppose to be betrayed..the next picasso...the next tupac or biggy...but what about the next obscure charecter that comes out of no where..I'm not saying some one from this generation will be that one,or maybe even the next...but were long over due for a speaker who can reach deep into the heart of the world... introduce the concept of faith without organized dictated religon,or fear mongrul media using gurillea propoganda...oh these arent new concepts love...these are the same things humans have always been fighting for...these are the same controling forces with diffrent names,funded by another various source who is using a simlar technique thats done before,therefore the only way to combat is with a new set of war drums that have never been beaten...lets collectively sit down and use this media before it becomes the way of the sea...poluted and controled by the powers that be

MY NEW MUSIC