I used to hang out with this kid who beat his mom to death
he went by JC.
a few weeks later some of old my coworkers were executed by another guy who used to
be the fry cook...just walked in & went on a shooting spree
some how master chef survived (shout out to the OG)...
they found homie in a park the next evening
sitting in his 98' ford ranger...just burning alive...
I think he survived tho...
I used to run around the country...thousands of drugs in the trunk of a Mazda Z6...
I was mostly surviving off LSD and burgers...sometimes Id throw up
mixing liquor with liquid hydrocodine...unafraid of growing up
fucking girls whos boyfriends werent around for the evening
be out early in the morning...shower covered in weeks worth of dirt
breakfast...and she throws me some of her clothes for the road...
I started putting feathers in my hair...panhandling by UVA,VCU
had one dude told me if I didnt give him his tax fed put me in an ICU
we shared ciagrettes and food...I gave him 4 dollars..."you good fool"
I remmember trying to sleep under overpasses in Baltimore trying to get to Pittsburgh
young jack kids planning...I can see the villian in their vibes...stay up all night drinking that militant
I aint mad at them...we both just trying to eat...but the urn aint as scary as this dog & knife I got on me
why try to be hard when your just trying to breathe?
Next day we jugged to philly...the juug was becoming more of a headstash then currency
flying signs by Ginos and Pats...racking up 12 tickets in less then 6 hours and 17 streets
breaking on to gettysberg national mounment just to smoke a cigarette...leave...
I used to have a probelem with OD'ing...just too many nights conecuitly
couple seizures...rare doctor visits...too much anxiety to really tell them what Ive seen
so I still just eat valium & xanax like candy
oxycontin like a treat...but people dont believe me...I pay my bills,work my jobs,drop books and still steal
post modrdum // post modern
I guess this blunt my only kin...couple noid dope boys
and the fuckers I grew up with...
but they all KNOW I lost my mind
I think hell and heaven are the only thing keeping me using
bruising up this skin...waking up in strange places with girls I call friend...
I cant keep my story on hold for too long...gotta start realizing the surface level
is all perception can encompass...let me crawl into your feelings
realize how much I reel in pain..I feel like Im wisdom teething.
I had a friend paralyzed from the waist down
he killed himself slowly off all the the perscirption drugs
half hed throw to me...sipping another 40
he said: " keep creating...this shit keeps me believing"
shit me too...at least that what it seems
his youngests brothers both had sons...I imagine he lives on through one of them
but the thing that still haunts,
flaunts in my dreams
is the time I met my brother in Waco from Austin to sell him Kolanopin
and he got in a head on collision and died on the way
as the french say...c'est la vie...let the pain come out and play