i write as the dew drops cover my window

such is the morning...another day of innuendos

my influence has never been

but from the look in her eyes,you wouldnt say thats the end.

some sort of wonderful start

a heart to chart

tattered and torn-varnished

like "baby...we've become real art"

and her movements are subtle

I hover around like the hubble

watching her twist to the symphony

that is her mind...a quiet,delicate shrine

much like mine but pumped full of doubts

by those who stand on the sideline and pout

its like all these routes pulled me in directions

of final movements & later,resting places

like Ive been infected with this overwhelming sense to do good

yet for others

a mere morning...staunch views

sips of coffee like we need another vice to abuse

& all the while,I sit on the edge of forever...just waiting for you.

I imagine a moment

one where we're perfectly in love

somehow in the same space

just dying in each others arms.

Im just living to see you

thats how it feels some days

theres never enough valium

there is never enough pitch or release

I miss you but it seems like Im where I need to be

and your living your dream

so this divine comedy just plays on.

Im reading dante in a bathtub full of essential oils

& epsom salt

I think about you like this corpse flower blossom

impossible & within reach....a once in a lifetime thing.

Im glad youve been criss crossing the country

it makes my heart sing / reminds me I need to be doing the same

someday I'll finally learn and stop preaching

Im just reaching to be a better person...and you are the poem of a century my darling

let me listen

first let me remember

let me kiss you

itll be like last november

when we laid around and pretended

that some sort of love existed

then may

and now the leaves are changing again

your somewhere in brooklyn

Im wandering around on the side of a mountain in breckenridge

I think it was tempting to forget you

but the beauty of the decent back into the city

clicked me into reality

like none of this could really ever give me memories

epiphanies

glistening somewhere listening in the sun

to your heart breathe as I lay on your chest

and you tell me with everything you hate about the world...everything you love

I muster up enough courage to still throw punches

hold nothing back but suffrage

I mean I have been a wise man

I have been loveless.

I ride the light rail

and thumb rides from kids I know

this time and space is good for right now

but soon itll be time to go...I just hope she feels it as much as I did when my heart went supernova

slowly dying

I realize that the beauty

is in how people hold you in their memories

not in the factual lives you constructed

sacrificial brick

I honestly could tear out one of my teeth right now and be fine with it,I think its the feeling in the air; the illustrious,imaginative and naive. I want all of this to mean nothing...but everything does,and you always seem to end up exactly where you need to be (same as me) so I feel like its a "meant to be" thing. You mean the mint to me. I see the glint in your eyes when we speak...meet me on some random beach,whenever you feel like you need it. We can continue to sprint to really wherever you wanna go. I just wanna be sacrificed as the GOAT. Not for fame,nor riches...just my soul. Martyr complex I guess since Im the son of two ministers...I just needed a master splinter,so I became my own. No more poems...not at least until I get a secondary phone. Blow a check on trying to come home to a full refrigirator,blow the rest on trying to feel better...play your hand close to the chest. Poker face,like I could ever give a damn...cheat like some of the best. I remember me and my boy Tittle sitting around eating chicken breasts in Austin sometime in 2011...hes the one who made me believe that I could make all these bullshit hobbies into something...that this life is more then capitalisim and nuclear families. Though I hope bits and peaces of both concepts still exist...such a divine comedy this life is...reading dante in a bath tub...life always in a state of flux. Quoting Lao Tzu at a friends kids birthdays...I wont be 26 till I grow wiser...this soul is so old...space is so cold...thank glob I have a muse,or I dont know where the fuck Id grow. Never take me as anything you should daily. I feel polluted like the ganges...but still in a state of pristine tranquility. Life and its fratility. Strife and its futility. I'll sleep in this garbage can if need be,at some point itll be a pint house...then a pent house. Then back down to some reality I can really latch on to...make sense of...all or really any of this. Jesus,if I couldve always been in this dream...in some sense I have (multi verse theory) clearly,my head is in the trees. Lets burn another why dont we? I know these surrealistic pillows will lead me back to these theories...like "little nemo"...like I was born again and didnt know anything. Put me out...pull me in...I wanna see where things really lead. The good ol days just start descending out of me...cascading on the facade of these LSD trips and drug binges...knee deep in the trenches...this drug war seems boundless,insurmountable and palpable. I really believe that everyone should have a say...no matter their sociatel construct,creed or faith....we've forgotten so much how we're all one and the same. I think I understand what this decades shaping up to create...today...I realized how much Im in love with you...and how much we will have to accomplish...what we will have to do...freedom...the only thing I can truly feel good about dedicating my life too. freedom to choose...freedom to loose...freedom to run until you dissapear...live with the guilt of what youve done...or move on...or dont feel anything at all...God is seemingly,increasingly what we want to believe we make it...when its just the enviroment and interactions that surround and shape us. Bless us. Test us. Infect us with love for one another. God,I hope Im not going nuts...but we probably all are...here on the out skirts listening to grizzly bears...I figure Ill take several more turn...loose all Ive earned and get it back tenfold. Sometimes you just have to have feelings things will work out. jerk around and fall asleep somewhere on cold pavement (which is scarce these days)...its been the first time in month I havent felt like IM betraying thought...just oppositions...intuitions...feelings from women I could never recipricate. I guess such is being a sociopath...seeing things in your own way. Tuck the pain,down...far,far away. I mean,listen to the way you hate...its a pretty good indication in the time and thoughts youve lost. I think im trapped in the belly of a cosmic whale just drifting along...and all the while I was wrong...about God,the universe...love...their all one...dosent mean I cant nurse this earthly body with any drug I see fit...such a split in wits...such a tizz

fuck

whats a boy to do

except sit around

get higher than the moon.

no plans

just some flan & a cacoon

empty rooms-broken ceiling fans

haunts of a past binge of some fall afternoons.

regale me of your sins

tell me what makes you brake

what helps you bend

sifting through rubble in the space time continuum

I was about 12 when I learned what being a shit head is

wanted to steal some pokemon cards so I did what it does

no one ever found out so I perfected my craft into what Ive become

mostly lines...sometimes clones...mostly new ones...better ones / same concept tho.

duck

whos off that boy tho

rig around

burn brighter than the sun.

Ive lost so many friends & brothers...but thats another note

I just decided to write till I turn blue

even if its tomorrow afternoon

I havent started thinking like a loser.

all this work and yet still we'll look back like nobody knew

because they didnt...because their scope was limited to grooves

sure persistance makes rivers

but alchemy & magic potions make oceans and nebulas bloom

its all blurred out

I cant speak

it was like a month ago

I think

I realized I was selfish

smug,drugged out

half alive

reaching for sleep

maybe someday

but for now there are comics to read

blunts to be steamed

strings to be plucked...wings to be swung

I think about it all to often

I just want the coffee to steep

time feels like a coffin

one with velvet lining...a mock up of speech

a question of writhing

how far do I let it go

is it pride or is it a downfall

either way...further I grow.

2k15

Im not even sure what to write anymore

its like I just want to yell

but that'll lead to jail more then likely

hell,I should only be so lucky

how humbling I am

though I still deal with poverty

its more so untrust of a system

I'am not systematically oppressed like my friends.

Its like Im on a binge

I mean I guess I technically am

but technicalities are fallacies

balancing acts of man

one with the most chips win

fish on the hook end.

I cant say it all without ever

putting it down in a sentence.

Thats how tense it is

the tip of the proverbial lips

some want to kiss

some want to hit...such is the give and the get

yet getting with the time

theres less wits...in all senses

there is most ceartinly an end

but its nessicary to a means...the tree of liberty must be refreshed

with the blood of tyranical men...women

these pens can only pierce ears,doldrums

we need it to beat like war drums

like its fucking 2015

I want to travel the galaxy...not debate the socicatal constructs which plauge

yet to say nothing is just as damning as having a part to play

so I will scream until my very last day

there will be nothing vauge

because implications have become far too great.

miracle mountains

bountiful triumphs

meet me in the middle

some where in lyons

we can read lines

dye our hair

I dont think Ill die here

itll probably be outside of america

strung out on love with a woman

whos been more beautiful then Ive ever imagined

then I ever believed could exist

I wish you were here

wed sip wine and talk until we dissappeared

in each other eyes

each others thighs

I need you in my life

in any capacity

even simple messages

bless me....Im so glad I wasnt scared all those years ago to tell you that I love you

because I always do and always will

bound to have some scotch here

a question of etiquite as I pass

to I give the croch or the rear

anyway these planes have deers in headligts

head cases in tense high crisis moments

poems on faces of star crossed gazers

children everyone is pray shuts the fuck up even half the way

trees turn in big pushes as Im spirited away

most people plugged into the entertainment

Im just reading away...sometimes its my own

getting so frustrated I get up to use the lavatory

locked doors.

no need to be in here

just taking a breath from

a sensory overload

30,000 miles above calls for a toast

a xanax and barely any clothes

I mean who can see what your hiding under drgs

this baby carriage got stopped in line in front of me at the airport

that distracted...whomever...from the copius amounts of drugs

thank god for moments of clarity that lead to absolute deprivity

bent over like a nativity scene

lust line after line as these seem to be

maybe one day Ill enjoy every bit of life

but maybe making the best and living as you die

can be one hell of rise...if nothingnees...then nothingess is all

stationary

laying next to you baking in the heat

I just love the way you

smile at me.

I keep quiet

I know what all this means

but right now

its best not to speak

Just focus

do your thing

I'll keep walking

writing everything until it becomes sane

I hope I die a saint

not in a religous sense

just some marijuana stench

and someone whos memory makes you smile.

I dont ask for much

it deals with alot of denial

I dont crash that much

IM mostly up at night

I think Im happier when your here

but thats few and far between

so I think about it like an anchor

like no storm could ever tear me away from your peir.

Challenge yourself daily

Say,

“Could I have done this yesterday”

If not. Give yourself praise.

Be Patient with yourself

Mainly because your strengths encase

Your weaknesses

Know this is not a phase

It is a step towards painlessness

Not in the conventional sense

Of having all the things you desire

But to be fed,loved and warmed

By your fire

I am no preacher

Merely a child of the universe

I am no teacher

Just a soul on a similar course

I just need to be nourished

Like a house plant in the corner

Always soaking up the sun when I can
4 notes

lemme write again

I just need to listen

pray for the universe

pray for my wisdom

I am more than an instance

I am minutes...comprised of venom

latching on to the sudbtle wisdoms of the past

oh what a gas it must be to be so

half ass

in my mind Ive walked the path

had visions of a future

a lot less glamarous

a lot less long in the tooth

I lay in this booth

listening to the man in the pul pit

I wonder what it is

how much it takes to be truthful

how much it takes to

lie.

to believe in yourself

what you believe

consistently and all the time...

it seems almost like a dream sometimes

barely thinking

might as well write tho

wrenchs spin in the back

its like theres always something to be worked on

metaphorically/historically

mystery sourounds my aura confounding me

I think demons are hounding me

not in any negative sense...they just wanna chill withour boundaries

life is quite astounding

miracles witless without browsing

just stumbling apart

an open heart

stars chart my path

as planets illumanates my sky

everyonce ina blue moon

you can walk a whole night