schitzo

andrew.
are you in there?
Its william.
HEY!
no one cares.
not until its brought up
and thats just until your here in the physical.
out of sight isnt out of mind
its a stored emotion to a particular event in time
thats why I dont think we'll ever fall out of love
meine kempf/meine engel.
(so many refrences to the capital of australia)
hoola hoops and jingling dangleys
to think
I was so close to giving it up
giving it all away
having to bring out the dental records due to self mutilation
oh reflection brings anxiety
how could
I
even ever think like this?
(how could you exsist at the same time in the same hemosphere...your like a puzzle peice)
So many skeletons in the parlor for an honest man
but honesty is a fantasy in some heads
so I leave and never return until the seasons change
I dont wish to meet all these new people,
to bare my soul...
this is the bi product of the road (falling in love with those in and of it)
no one needs to know all the friends Ive seen go straying
no one needs to hear about all the past love & law enforcement patrols swaying
court and nights I spent alone with a candy jar full of my mother and fathers medicene cabinet from the years gone by
that it started here,or there...or on browntrail road on october 31st 2004
that every one saw it and let it sit there...but really what do you say to the peeps you blow lines with
...why the fuck was every one such delicate middle men when it came to my agenda
why did I grow up all by myself again
playing in the hallways
in the churches
of north texas,
alone in my head.
( manifesting blonde dreads)
I wake up in the morning in cold sweats from the years of antocedemedophine
dolophine,
benzodiazapene
nictoene
whiskey and inhalent binges
that these were realitys and could happen again
I couldent sleep for years without anything
now
I
simply
dont
sleep
I toss and turn in the morning heat
escaping the demons from behind these blonde eyelashes that I still see
oh the mirror is a painful place
especially dimly lit ones in dirty bathrooms across the united states
while your compadres sleep threw the sunday morning and the indianapolis show was just another bank roll
and by morning will be in the comfort of lou and xachs home
all you have to do is drive all night on a head full
across the dark I70 stretch threw ohio
praying
KNOWING
that
the morning comes...
(that her love keeps me safe)
oh how life gets so seperated by two diffrent lives
yours and mine.
some day ill be payed to be schitzophrenic
until then
I weep
and sit in absolute awe of the presentation of all of this
good god,
i keep living.