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i love when people you know think they still know you,you can change overnight if the stars align,if a light shines down into and threw your soul,as you pray at the top of your lungs you overcome...im not even afraid of death anymore,therefore,i have no fear to live.to love again is the ultimate goal,but for the second its pure logic and the road,crusin down interstates like stratospheres on the mission for the roses and golden dreams that ive had since infancy,now instead of money its proving the kids from my past life have no right to tred on my new dirt road,i travel it with one more. i have homes across the united states,only one real lover,and she resides in her name sake,jesus how the days constantley rotate and perpetually stay the same,i wish i could blame some one else for hurting myself,but then again I never go top shelf,always bottem floor bottles that are covered in dust and spells cast by wizards with a brerewry out of their home. im a home body,i live on the pavement. I sleep with the homeless in caves and dens. I steal and do less drugs then I used to,but still money over comes all of theee above. You need to pay for that...you need these friends to forgive and forget,oh brain you have no room to speak,but right now my heart feels funky like your grandfathers feet,toeless and sockless,wandering on broken glass from picture frames of the family that use to inhabit your heart. now they wont talk to you,they think your dead...wether they think your in denver or texas,it dosent matter...theyd break your teeth if they saw you agian,theyd smash your hands threw stain glass. theyd spit in your eye if they had the chance,but instead they smile and shake your hand. their not fake,sadly,its the persona youve become,this precieved reality has been created and controled. they dont see your doing it for them,its another selfish act in a long line of others...no one cares until they get a letter in the mailbox,filled with thousands of dollars in cash,and then they pay off their student loans and preach about how good of a man he is. but hes dead,dead inside and to the world,dead from all these rules and regulations he broke,dead from all the souls who provided him with good deeds in times of need,but his heart is open for all to see,to come inside and sleep,have a hot meal,to clean in steam. taking for granted every little peice except the heart and love that he always decreed was his best way to pay you back,he wasnt trying to hurt you,he was just trying to stop living. drop out of society,die in his sleep,but his heart presses on,on,ON and upward threw the stars,past the milky way and mars.alone for a second in the cheeseburger nebula where he can finally cry,where his friends dont have to see his eyes,where no women have to see his smile,toy in their minds about playing with his heart for a while. where the clouds avalance onto a heart so cold it burns up into a phoenix,tearing down these govermental walls, oh fall with me,down to the rocky shore,call and scream to me every word you wish youd vomited out the last time we fucked on the couch...it was all for show,you got what you wanted and now you take more. funny how life works,funny how time flies,funny how when you leave for a second your out of mind...hmm...i love that you could go home,but me haha oh no...NO NO NO...no fucking homes,no fucking beds,nothing but books to fill my head...no close friends,no close relatives,no one even gives a shit anymore about any of it,so why would I quit? you burned my bridges for me so now ill dance in the ashes,reciting poetry until my lungs collapse,laughing as a ghost of all the time i worried about cars or clothes,every dollar i spent on anyone else who though i always owed more...oh bore,oh boo hoo,oh how times change and children become doomed,repeating the same cycle that everyone else likes to do...haha all i can do is laugh at how discusted by modern times I am...all i can do is think about austin...well gimme another beer friend...keep me talkin...keep me listening..andrew boeglins dead...the doctor is in