Drugs are so awesome. it's a terrible thing to say,but its true. Sobriety is beautiful,its amazing to say that with the scentence that comes before. I'm so scared to loose both freedoms to each other,or simply to expire for loser reasons. I have these beautiful friends who are going south,one inperticular who I cant even talk to;I dont want to see them go. The strongest message I've sent to my loves is silence which works for a year it seems,then the guilt becomes to much. I love all three of these people,though their all in diffrent stages of ruining this beautifuly wretched life. I hate how much I drink. I hate I need pain pills for my back. I hate what Ive done to my brain. But those experiences have catapolted me to a diffrent plateau. Timothy Leary and HST were right,but so wrong. Brain exspansion is needed,but destruction is too much. Its not our fault either,if we were allowed to take these subsatnces,yes we would have addicts and death,but dont we already? And if we were to teach children not to take drugs but simply this is what happens and has happened and will continue,thats a stronger strategy then proabiton. 90 years weve had these laws,wasted so much "money" (its not real everyone) that what have we accomplished? the rich control our lives and if not the taxpayers fund the lives of the people who are "evil". How does this help?