another highway

more hide outs

new ways to express pain

I'm just high now

batteries dead

looks like I cant drive now

my light still shines

probably from all the acid in my spine still

still life pictures of thrills

still off some pills now

a whole goblet full of coffee

shes still snappin stills...Im still pouting some how

pass me the peace pipe

I wont feel like dying now

ground littered in nothing

my ocd still holding on somehow

touchdown

somewhere in the cheeseburger nebula.

glass full of scotch.

cigar full of indica.

Sprinkled lights on the river into Gotham

The kids are snorting coke while I’m eating

Xanax and sipping promethszene and codeine

Out of jones sodas

I’ve been haunting the streets for weeks again

Just contemplating s begging and an end

To the novel I’ve been working in

**‘I hate when “authors say this”

I’m a renaissance man in remission again

The whole scene feels bothersome

But praise Allah & opium bowls

I’ll see you again the tax doesn’t collapse me

Again

Smoking blunts out of a screen door

Bored with the way that I’ve come up

Need more work on being less wholesome

We’ve all grown some

I think I’m a monster to most

But most of the time I’m just too high to zone

All this work got me feelin like scum

Only because I haven’t moved one single

Crumb

Meet me where the sun sets over lady bird lake…that’s where I’ll feel wholesome

(I hope)

1 note

Lost in your eyes .

Another night of

You & me

and a bottle of wine

Soothing the whines

that bellow from

the comfort of this air mattress

Another night rambling

More moments scrambled together

Nice weAther // a body prepared for

Winter

I wish it was summer again

Never tethered …as if I ever have been

I wanna be a star jammer

More than just a mortal man

But god damn these years

These plans

They all just run together

And it all de materializes in my writhing grasp

Gasp*

This stupid son of a bitch is as it again

Nothing but movement

Ruthless with the way he misuses

However one amuses the term

Maybe I’ll see Valhalla again

Until then I’ll be awake

Dreaming of my life being taken again

All I’ve listened to lately is STp

And weiland died today

And I really feel the same way

That I did yesterday

Numb to the ever present ugliness

Like light was but a dream

And those who’ve had a taste

Are either dying inside or shining too bright
You know what I mean?

she asked

“What have you eaten today”

She asked

“Some xanax and codone”

She stared at the placemats

I felt like a happenstance

Happy mirage

A mirror of what you think is exciting

Opposed to what you now have to accept as “reality”

She keeps her wealth a secret

I flaunt my poverty

Obviously each other’s flaws are seen

“What do you want out of life”

She sips another glass of wine

“Time”

The only worthy thing that came to mind

“But what do you mean?”

Finally intrigued

“The ability to not have to explain or do anything”

I leave…we hug…I write till my eyes bleed and I fall asleep on another couch somewhere in the south because my intentions speak volumes to the things I seek

the perks of being a fall flower

I see the wind whip threw my tree riddled city
Drip drip drip
The pitter patter of realitivley
I put on a ski mask with holes worn into the neck and chin area
Sparing the hypothermia that will ultimately rid me of this ethereal fear
Peer in to my soul
Is it merely piers or oceans
Maybe the Marionic trench
Doomed to repeat history
To stupid to say anything about it
Another night on a couch somewhere in Brooklyn
These crooklyn dodgers are fathers in the sense that their always learning
Teaching
Manifesting a new state of being
I’m not dead yet
But I sure as fuck am bleeding
But this cooperstone won’t run
And the kids are no fun if they can’t operate guns or do drugs
This is our america
A nation of pirates and parrots
Nationalism and tariffs
This is my nation
And it burns this Black Friday

roll through cities with no doubt in my eyes

try as I might,these lines give greater purpose to life

quiet monday night madness while I snort lines

& she just lies the whole time.

I seem to have missed winter

but its still cold in my heart.

survival is beauty & pain

just as much as its an art.

formulate these cries with me

dead city dreams...all capitals

like FEAR & LOVE

compounded wisdom into pretty packages of judgement

this is not my last stand

I'll be ready to break bones by the time we're done here

(what have we done here)

a graceful parachute from heaven

grateful in death.

its like we've become deaf

bountiful in debt...yet I cant remember giving a single loan.

these scars are my home

these cars,punk houses & penthouses are my hope

that one day I can feed,shelter and clothe all who need more

but I have to do that for myself first.

bi polar abridged

less depressants / more wisdom

my molars grit

is this the gift in the lesson?

in a garden

of flowers

& yet I still find

myself looking

at you

drive slow

mind rolls

the whole goal

is perfect soil.

foundation to grow

a pledge to stay loyal-

photographs of home

nurtured moments of growth where we toil.

I feel like I'am spoiled

your love is a token

I only need one for the road...

it seems as if our love is boiling

spoiling in time trials and royalty

I expect aesthetics

coughing up lungs like we need paramedics

all these plans foiled.

so I smoke another foil

tell stories to the moils

churned about churches which recoil

like the cock back of this gun...no protection...just an escape route from the slums

stuck on the thoughts of us

plush memories so robust

& yet...here I am...alone

without trust.

no funds.

no monthly installments

the only help is from people who love me

so Im enthralled in it.

this is the pain in poetry

this is the gut punch that is art

all of my heart on this silver platter

just enough memories to never give up.

its like everyone has

except a few kids Im caught up with

lost in the duldrums...another product of lust

learning how to roll with the punches

I feel like a hearld of galactus

holding the power cosmic

silver surfer of the rust

the rest is just rushed.

meet me under the bridge

we’ll share a spliff

tell each other what we’ve lost

what we’re willing to give

even if its just minutes

your spirit is a bridge

mine is a glimpse

of what came before and what lives

I hope you wont miss me when Im gone

Ive been numb for so long

watching the river drip along

writing you these little songs

I hope they play like sonnets

something youd read like scripture

because these perscription drugs have me lost

waiting for sunset just to toss & turn till dawn

I used to feel like a pawn

now its more like bishop

but Im still willing to give myself

in hopes of the betterment of the board.

I hope youre not bored

getting this snail mail...reading these words

its like we're worlds apart

when your just down the road.

I know Im quiet

but you make my gentler murmurs roars

I wont quit

I was built to better the world...nothing more

lifes a weird dream again

I dont know as if to question

or remain one with the flow

so it goes.

I dont have any fear anymore

I feel 16

but its been ten years

and a lifetime of mistakes cherish me like an heir.

careful blood loss

words lost

coffee pots

times when I could not process thought

punch drunk

dumb luck

and some friends

I really dont deserve

curvy roads in the mountains

poetic bouts above the river

southbound I travel

until I reach the equater or the southern rim.

chaufer

passed out in a passenger seat

driven around the city,asleep

wake me up at the cemetary

we'll go find a gravestone to smoke underneath

I'll meet you at the doorstep of my reality

"if you understood everything I said you'd be me"

miles from the ocean,more so from the mountains

on the foot of a river bleeding east.

I had no more lovers.

just some grams & a little weight I stayed underneath

no more scales

these eyeballs will get the better of me.

light sensitivity

lower back strains

I woke up in another bed,in another state

again.

all this traveling is just the beginning

I fear it has no end.

home is the road

its the only place I can react

I slumber amongst theives

people out of touch with the end of their fingertips

as long as their palms stay full of nothing

constant hustling just leads to championship repeats

but we're talking about practice

and evil ways just to make ends meet

like everybodys meat

and a couple calls mean everything.

anxiety.

paranoia.

their all for me.

its all for me.

Im far from meek

but I can swallow teeth

sometimes land a 3 piece

sometimes I just stand their and say nothing.

just let the sharks swim

and let the fish eat.

one ear to the ground

the other with a 9mm shoved into your peace.

reactions mean nothing if you cant sleep

and if you can

well then godspeed

because hell is full of wine & cheese.

I keep finding myself alone

never far from my home

its in my chest

in my bones

poems rattle out of this shakey cough

without a plot

like if I could talk again,itd start a walk

one that turned into a jog across america

I think it scares us

the people you still cant see

who am I to encouarge me

I still haunt these city streets

like the portrait of an old fool

its as if my love were but a clue

back on my feet again

Its as if I never knew

come/sleep/dance in dreams with me

tell me how to breathe

so I can live again.

Overwhelming thought

Of a whimsical nature

No prophets,only profits for

Pay scales

I kept the change jar rumbling

As if I had something to say

Meet me in my dreams or breathe

Away the days

I think I’m falling asleep

At least I pray

It seems I’m getting more religious

In an indirect way

“Let me witness to you”

Let me see as I’ve seen through

Blue lakes I was born to lose

Maybe my next life will be beautiful

Copper pot eyes and weekends I lost faith

Moon set over the mountains and the bay

But not tonight

The country lay in waste

I feel upstaged/glorious patriotism on display

Discouraged that I could never see things in such ways

I just take people at their word

For what is the world if I can’t hear it

Sing its pain

If I lose humility

Then I am faithless

If I lose humanity

I can become faceless

These words act like a taste of destruction

How one can become misplaced

Yet as a mere act of self preservation

We become innate with not only our actions

But our paces

In spaces i sparkle

Sometimes I’m dim

It all truly depends on the moments in which I live

Aren’t we all but rotating souls

Hell bent on setting goals to feel

Some adaptation of normal

Or anything at all?

As I loose myself

I trust in the fall

These broken bones will keep me

True to my faults

timberwolf blitzer

needed a spritzer and some seltzer water

I imagine them in a garder

what are gender roles anyway?

I think I saw myself in a negative space

some sort of safe zone

stay out of the cancer verse

richard ryder of the poetry.

I wanna go supernova

malpedi and I are sharing our home

which happens to be a bench at the moment

a pinch of magic in the are…another evening at innisfree

a simple love note to boulder

Im getting older

but that dosent mean I cant

always fall in lust

my days are spent in bookstores

& libraries/

life is merely absorbsion .

I keep hoping to find more of myself

in these stories...portions

portraits of my many facades which torture.

I spent the better part of my youth

wrestling with concepts

more so I was afraid to realize them as others truths.

I used to be a muse

then I was missused

so I attempted to do the same...but now I understand these blues.

genetics

circumstance

and kisses from you.

If I was to never win

then I wouldnt understand

how important it is to lose...a wild heart on the loose.

I keep finding myself alone

never far from my home

its in my chest

in my bones

poems rattle out of this shakey cough

without a plot

like if I could talk again,itd start a walk

one that turned into a jog across america

I think it scares us

the people you still cant see

who am I to encouarge me

I still haunt these city streets

like the portrait of an old fool

its as if my love were but a clue

back on my feet again

Its as if I never knew

come/sleep/dance in dreams with me

tell me how to breathe

so I can live again.

serenity is ministry

simple coincidences

I see you like 17th century paintings

dark with renaissance in your symphony

I have valium rattling around my skull

watching the spike of art as epiphanies

like everything I inject has soul

so blessed to have a fear of needles though

others don't

I watch belts hang around their arms

I guess its better then their throats

probably the same difference I suppose

I see her as the morning sun glows

and my kidneys rumble from the tussle of the night before

every drink feels like a water hose

every speck of sunlight reflects like a rainbow

I know where the pain goes

right where you need it too when the moon glows

that's why we stare into the sun

just to feel something...anything for once

I sit here drained from all the drugs that Ive done

but they've all led me to the poignant muse

life isnt beautiful if its misused

sacrafices of the un-bloomed

I was born to consume

die

and fuse right back into the gloom

and destitude...love is but the truth...as lust is the movemnent

meet me in the restroom

will snort lines

and tell each other what makes us love fear

what makes us fear love...what binds us to human