don't think

just react

brute passion

subtle tact

make love to me on thumbtacks

fuck my brain up until blood drips

pain is bliss

when feelings are insecure at best.

I wish to convey my soul in clicks

morris code from this sinking ship

from stern to bow..flames rose

how ironic...to be burned alive afloat.

aloof,I raise this glass in toast

maybe one day we'll be heros

until then

nothing but ghosts.

control

just keep lying to yourself...

the person laying next to you is the one who will help...

make everything better

their all you've ever needed...all you've ever felt

feeling...like your under a spell

the only real need here is self help

you just constantly looking for love by giving others hell

try to control when you cant even console yourself

& I just sit to the side...every man for himself

you can only play the cards youve been dealt

but you keep switching decks

using jokers as kings

showing glimpses of your hands

..."love" can be so self destructive...

instructive for us watching

its like we're two hearts touching

but your just fucking up everybodys style

trying to make them get in tune with your

mind...

I swallowed my designs

rose up & found my direction maniacally

magnetically// magically

without trying...I just hope you find peace in time...Im so glad Im taking mine

all I can tell you for sure is we're all liars...just try not lie to those you tell them you love

see you in a few eras

I will provide

I will need.

I'am paitence

I'am greed.

trying to be more in tune with the natural course of things

I guess its more so in the movement and the songs we sing

symphonic empathy is really the only seeds

not to discredit God...the universe...

just the grand infinite wisdom we all consistency convey

create...re or miss use.

I will lead

I will follow.

I'am the student

I'am the teacher.

fearing,that in some cosmic way the secrets of my truth

will lead me to realizing how much I'am in love with missuse.

streetlike fancies streak my long blonde hair

adorned in furs // traveling in pairs

she said we could be in Paris by the end of the year

I said I'd probably be more intrested in just getting in her underwear.

"I'am not like those other guys"

I'm worse.

diffrent poems

made of tears.

but from up here...a teir over a temporary city

I realize how angelic we all are wish to be

these lights look like nature-an extension at least

maybe its just me...

but for the first time

I really...ACTUALLY

truly,honestly

want to believe...I wish you could come with me.

I remember once

growing up

in a house I

don't go into

anymore.

the sun lurking

over the floor

as I drew pictures of the ocean floor.

before the war.

before the pills...before real words.

I remember the real world

being a block & a few friendly smiles

now its a few thousand miles

with people I barely speak to

on nor offline.

I think I've lost it all

gained even more without it

I think Im only a poet

when Im writing..

the rest of the time I'm just a lost soul....writhing

I find comfort in the hurt

somber solace

remembering at one time all the numbness was lightning

i wore it...before drowning myself in all this

light...like this heart is a ballast

& these dreams are more than mine...the hours I spent on ours...and yet I still climb.

listen to my MUSIC

I feel a vast consciousness


through these internet connections


a bunch of like minded individuals


who've never been in each others presence.


I think this is humanity in essence


humility in empathetic lessons


I believe we all are progressing


regardless of the ignorance & its benevolence


it's such a blessing to be reminded of truth


this effervescence that whips like a muse


a confirmation that little to nothing is truth


because perception is the only thing that separate the proverbial (you)


from I.


but we are one in the same,regardless of our like mind


lack there of-


lessons which bloom in due time.


I'd like to hope that there is more to these rhymes


that stringing together word can from bonds un-binded


blinding the inner workings of greed


to come within eye to eye...ear to ear...mine to mind.

blahblahblah

dope throat, broke skull

gloomy mornings where

I lost hope.

I'am blind because

I have the universe for eyes

every verse ends up being a lie

for a lie.

try as I might

I have not the mite

to smite these demons

which flock to me by night.

until I die

this shadow of a doubt will haunt me

taunt me

express to me its life through groans...mindless drones

streets full of the broke

hungry...exposed

only exposes & photo op's will be

shoved under the collected turned up nose.

blood...coke

love for oneself is only mirros of smoke

a splash of GHB

& again I'am awake and alone.

its hard to love yourself

when you cant forget a moment.

sometimes losing your mind is the deepest

form of self love.

less supreme

bucket head loose

chugging coffee

its been raining fuel.

all these drugs have me weak

barely eating

the whole car stinks

and to be blunt,its all because of me.

I was less suprised when she told me she had a new boyfriend

then when we woke up drenched in each others body heat

only to have her take me to the airport

not really discussing how we think.

sometimes all I can do is feel

like peeling back my eyelids-

I turned 26 last sunday

& I was still high at my family dinner...decades of excellence

I dont know if I'll ever change

fuck-I dont really care if I do

and all the while all I really want

is someone who will "love you for you"

or me

god damnit

I barely speak

it gets tapered inbetween the lines & levees...lost in the trees

“but life

shouldn’t make sense

that’s the fun in it...

how do you only believe in love

if it only pertains to love for you”

and I looked through the celing window

I missed her.

I always do.

but that exact moment I understood

you dont choose anything

if anything the preverbioal

“it” her,us,we.

chooses you (I)

“I’ll text you later...I have things to do”

muscle memory is the only thing that

kept me moving all afternoon

if it was up to me i’d’ve boarded a plane

for Toledo before noon

“but I’m so glad we’re talking again”

me too..

could I push truth

no know fear-

waste not

a simple chance at being overlooked...

the view of life from these tiers.

clear debauchery

almost as violent as time gets

the give and the take

lost in the gears

bets not placed...odd the way people sway

violent the way this brain shakes

like these vibrations are the only pace

I think I loved you in another time

a more beautiful place

this city is a wasteland-the thick air is for taste

waste not / want not

if only this was the case.

laced blunts under a lonely overpass

the only thing I wanted was space

so she sent me on my way-not a thing in my name.

funny how the world works

strange how the drugs take

now I just lie on the floor

laying with the only thing that ever made sense

& yet,again,she has no name...a reoccuring theme-pain going both ways

44444

you funny

trying to make money

all this art aint an answer honey

just adds faith to the calamity.

I think they jammin me

I mean I really think they feelin me

peelin back poster child nose bleeds

no seats...just fragments worth remembering.

I feel like neon

endzone dances like deion

grimetime baby

like prime realestate...babbling about trabtree

all these algorithms got my brain on fleek

like why flake when you can barely speak

I communicate through smiles

rough hugs,handshakes and lazy eye gleems.

Ive been high for like 469 weeks

might as well start planning my wake

just another roasted frontal lobe skipping state to state

I guess I'll just keep doing it my own way.

all this responsibility feeling like reed-

richard simmons

genghis khan maybe

fuck...maybe I just need sleep...fantastic...this torch the only thing I need.

dyslexia

apathetic

dyslexic when it comes to numbers

numb due to the mood stablizers

sometimes its like the only math I can do

is count money.

21st cenuty

conquest of numbness

I wake up like wha-

how the fuck I get here.

I dont sip beer.

fuck around and catch kidney failure

been a few years since I had to post bail

go to a bond hearing.

out in the clearing...sippin on some texas tea

rollin up some shattered dreams

i barely even smoke weed.

I dont think I fear fiending

been sick for weeks // laying around scheming

one of these days Ill be important

only real mentors I ever had sorted

I guess we're all fucked in the head...bordem

thats why I try to stay portioned

half these dreams already been snorted

blood drip

my throat coated // coughing up the sentences

feeling like a wizard from a seperate dimension.

T E T S U O

too high to comprehend

all these lines are comprehensive

pensive with barely any incentive

like everything reflecting retention is more or less for pension

I ain't trying to be real

nor am I trying to be felt

I'm just myself // unconcerned with trophies

or even shelves...half these kids are just shells of their formal self by all tales

necessarily...I wouldn't mind melting

like the only real prizes are trap lands,LSD

& animal pelts.

like its the 18th century...or the 1960's...everyone just trying to fit in// tune in,turn on // drop out

I mean people still scared of witches

I break bread with em...run rules, brooms & mail out

like any sort of limitation is from the self

not the soul...I cast spells while trailin' off

bold

the full court press is on lock

& all this art is some sort of triangle offense

more or less I always feel offensive...maybe pensive...or like Tetsuo.

Like everything is manifesting itself through this damaged heart

this perpetuative art

its hints & attempts at being smart

the hells,the highs & lows...the pattern dances & glows

the contempt in my heart grows.

like I was meant to roam

find love in every language...on every continent

to let these simple musings help me when I'am alone

staring through the moon roof as I smoke.

VIBRANIUM

feel like Im always about to throw up

roll up

spill the notions so grown up

I dont want to go nuts

not like this

thus I feel like thanos

power gauntlets so toked up

aspirations like doom-most rush

seperate dimension seeking

marveling anti matter / broke up

woke up to a real life Carol Danvers

somewhere in Denver...wondering why all these perscription drugs came from & why

I couldnt remember the past few months...or where this book came from...again...

wiki93 on repeat.

wikileaks like modern day NSA speech...like ALex Jones is sort of realevent-

repeat

truth / monumentus antimatter

sobriety so unclear it barely matters.

I think Ive hurt everyone whos ever loved me.

If I could only be so lucky.

so I just keep moving

a perfect portrait of fuckery.

I think Ive lost it again

macking on half these casaulties

burning every step on a social latter

for momentary fires that help me eat/sleep

creep through the back streets with a few books tattered

masters of lonely unit patterns

repeat

again same old story like I barely even breif-vibranium the only thing that matters to me.

we are shaking and moving

as DH says

"If I could freeze time..."

not my super power of choice

but I resonate with the line.

I think I saw magic tonight

beauty in motion / words like mining

I wanna rest on the shores of this mindset-

the subtle ascent while climbing.

you can keep your comfort

I wont stand silenty.

this corporate police state perpetuates nothing but violence

slavery institutionalized

sedatives to keep whole families minds dimmed

like mine

like minds...I compensate by smoking hash all the time.

but maybe thats where we need to draw the line

not with the consumption,but rather the reason it comes from

the stigma thats bred...why this toxic society has so much dread

I feel it hanging like a miasma over the mid-west

& the eastern seaboard is bleeding

Baltimore is rising

our inner cities are writhing in pain

severed vertabreas

& all we're ever fed is take take take

like the fed printing dollars with no Gold to save face

this is the same place as yesterday...simply a different taste

our educational system is just wasting away

whole states have agreed to erase the errors of our most recent ways

not to mention entire cultures,facts & faces

traitors to a greater way of thinking.

just overlook all of Africas history...Western Civilizations development thanks to the Egyptians & Moors

so this becomes a broader image,more so pertaining to the world

bastard children of coined phrases...christ like images of ceaser borgere

this is so engrained in our day to day that it dosn't seem important

but when imagery becomes history,minds get destorted.

its like our collective hearts deforested

riot whenever your hokcey team loses & in god we mourn

riot whenever another man/woman/transgender/non-binary is murdered

& treat the hurt like somthing unimportant...tis just wood to a furnace

tck tck tck-morality is simply earnest to the largest earner