donate to ya boy

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I said "what are you going to do for the rest of the night"
"die" he smiled,
he had THAT look in his eyes.
head cocked to the side he twitches and rubs on his temples
"but if your dead" I said as I stood up
"whats the fear in your heart from?" deshevled, he indulged on another edible
scribbled the next portion of his manifesto
looked into my soul and gloats

stay face/keep sane

I want to become a better writer
more so
a bigger man...
a raging fire burns inside of me
I prey it never harnesses the wind
theories of ignition from a slight of hand
lighter clicks fissure with a sizable syllabus
here we are reprimanded
retroactive content
radioactive soul alighnments
its like we never wanted this
and the whole universe has been up ended
and our mother is gagging
she has an oil rig asphyxiation
millions of bullets she spits
the bones of her children in which she digests
and there is no rest
no single regrets
only tears
and more tests.
stay face/keep sane
whatever that means in this day and age
I only prey to live throughtout the day
so I can come home
and claim some space between your legs.


the cold ambiguous letters read like sand-script,
for lack of better a world
weather blew feathers & coal out of my cerebral flow
it molded my feeble mind
my delicate if I could spurn.
a mind so spun out of control...
broken down palace/find strength in her warmth
forms I filmed
lessons I learned
the way the rain pitter pats on the hull of this automobile as it hugs each turn
I feel its pistons jumping
and rumbling
its an ignition to the night,an admission all right
a single syandide capsule under my left k9
and be merry
for tomorrow we die

Saturday, July 28, 2012


i opened my world to the soul that is hers
moved about the cabin as if I had words
phoned to those I love
and drove all night,hugging the cliffs above.
on the road...
I met a witness who directed me to fenceless pastures
the gentle winds that captured my laughter
I whispered
as if every word was a blister
& this was my home.
I found hope in your eyes
the light you shine when you smile
the way you smell when its warm
this wonderful denial I have
due to suicide attempts
& mild hallucinations for months on end.
in various terms...
various lives...
the wormholes open and spill,in the dust clouds and word of mouths
the foul sight describes a wild love inside of her our hot air balloon
& turns
I think of more words to yell to her in the middle of this lightning storm
but her eyes
oh her eyes
they cut deep into my life
keeping me on my broken toes
if only to see the sun
that rises in her soul.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

lets keep writing

*defeated by victory
these cold eyes are no longer symmetry
grumbling falsettos from this stoic,"troubled teen"
(well adjusted adult/good credit scores)
drudge rep-or.
the four corners of the universe begged for more
it orgasimed out hatred,
& folklore.
and that lust ran like comfort over me
inside of her ovaries is a future I dream
threw meditation and various times of peace
on astral planes/in dimensions quite like these.
i see her blowing in the breeze
ever so delicately
my flower of the alley way...
the singular reason I breathe.
so childish
these ways we perceive
yet so enlightened
the things that we speak
tip toeing around each delicate syllable
still I beg
"ever more"
...and yes there are more words...
oh how I could write to you for centuries
but alas
amongst these bee stings
I speek geometrically
mouth full of blood
soul full of heat.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

drunk dials

my heart lay in Austin
it feels all a blossom
like a sunflower peeking its head threw the sidewalk of a white house
in winter.
I comfort like Ive never known loss
tis' a paradox
loving till it hurts.
yet,im caught
by the snare of the mile high sun,
my lovely slums
& this heart that always beats as a war drum...
threw the tiny amp set up
in the cellar of my loved ones.
but night comes
dreams form
her eyes are intertwined with the purple night
she is the moon
I am the sun
I feel our time is Ouija board,spelling out countless words
with countless metaphors threw countless diminsions and time
but this may not be
so I grind
and Im gudided by universal rhythms
& here is where your name comes to fruition
yet not a single word omitted.
because you are the vision
I couldent envision
but would give everything to prove
that all these women
beautiful as they may be
cant hold a single candle to YOU

I just spent some years farising
clarifying my derelict
paralyzing the simp in me.
terror rises in my dull regret
moments turned once I earned respect
and yet I cant even stand it without thinking

of truths


I gave birth to an idea
the hint was to abort it
instead I cared for it
I only prayed that it'd be worth it.
years passed and questions ensued
always away...or on the side of blues
wandering this century
in search of hope & memories/
nose goes on pirate missions
this putrid symmetry.
I'm halfheartedly searching for the turth
but the truth is,my heart has held strong
and now Im hardheartedly searching for you
north west,north west,north west
mouth full of gold dublooms
these finger tips are my only ways of reaching you
but Id never let you know
truths...they come in many forms
several sizes
my eyes have eyes
and my soul shines diamonds.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Opium smoke billowed down the umbilical cord attached to MY white skull
...I just don't do drugs anymore,
and as all people have done drugs before know
this just means I'm not reliant on God nor a substance for love
so,of course,
I still diffrent mind states
I wade threw alley ways
waking up on roofs to the summers warm rain
faint cries to the humans starting their days
though my mind a waste,
not one single moment wasted,
I pace and claim to be tasteless
trace my steps while draped in faint explanations
fatal deprivation keeps my fables cradled
on the verge of being stable
& I just lose it all over again on the river card.

Im just waiting for her

c'est la vie

Sunday, July 15, 2012

old fucker

locked out of the inter dimensional zone due to lack of passwords
I found an intimate clone,with a nack for hard work
I saw God inside of him,he was playing poker and drinking mimosas with his son,a phantom
and their old buddy,belzibub.
handsome fellow.
while here,I felt disheveled..out of things to say until the night became level
and there I tumbled...until I felt our trinity stable
it bubbled,a feeling comprable to prenadel...
as my penal gland searches for a make shift k-hole
moonlight over came the sun
then the stars peppered over the mesa
into a cradle of stories,high morals and soft words
I melt,
for we all are doomed
but theirs beauty in each step of the storm.
as I sit on this roof I cant help but feel the warmth of the textures
the fixtures of bar flies attached to their liquors
the fixtures of yoga pants that get slimmer and slimmer
and dimmer my role seems to be , honestly
it means nothing in the grand scheme of things
as of late each pain has been strange
and none as hard as the moment she drove away
so here I await
somthing to further complicate the continus storyline that is my brain

Friday, July 13, 2012


"I pray you aren't eaten by wolves out here"
countless hours of staring compared
my heart drops to the feet of my chair
a cold glare carelessly dares me
folding up the newspaper,I check the time
leave my seat
the atom bombs rain like confetti atop this carefree street
I'm in heat.
I stop to court a pretty young thing
you are the bread,
I am the meat
our brains interlocked
she digs the beard
my little heart cant stop
mush mouth. black socks
more nights like these & I'll feel
prolong that out
drop top cop,clip up and go solve doubts
down south
where I lay on couches
no showers
devouring my limits.
heavy fisted cause I eat my spinach
dig it?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

before the super nova
we were mostly sober
now were dumpster diving to survive the apocolypse
somewhere in southern oklahoma
my lips are dripping liquid metal
im fed up on meddiling bumfuck tummy tucked stepfords
all hopped up on meds like rum and cola sheppards
calm,cool and collected
bombed,geeked out,arrested
seperate electives
yet maternal affetcions
next question


cute wounds,
new shoes
flew in early...
splitting loot
proving roofies lead to toothless
proof that rules roam into coos
then comas
no news is good news in a world with CEO spooks with high dollar aroma
blues been sneaking threw dark purple alleys in coups like their in the daytona
ive been in every pool,throwin bones like I majored in it in school
or I'am a padiwan of yoda.
fruitful come ups my labor got my wages tied up in wagers
and I aint shy to belt bust to settle
yelling like day traders
play trumps and keep my knowledge plump
steadily obtaining paper
Im wildly aware when the trumpets bump
major reason why im heavily favored
summers halfway done...and I have barely seen the sun...or danger
only the slums...there...I seen the TRUTH...its as sharp as a saber
been a slave to your thoughts,like its a spell im under:
thunder and lightning on these hot july rain
signal to fireworks and rhythm sanctuarys
im weary
oh so tired
wired from all the coffee & rum
I wish to retire
have my attire be tailored
be favored by mayors
prostitutes &
disfavored by most,
peel layers back until I reach each skeleton whole
fill the empty bones with hell & sin

if your a destroyer
if your an angel

drag the cigarette,around the lake we stroll.
thoughts are out of control
this data base is rebooting,
would you like a detailed evacuation of my soul?
young & old
gather round...before your eyes you'll reach a goal..
the power at the circus is almost out!
but before it is,
let me leave you
without doubt..
a mouth full of scripture
house full of victims
a milk shake full of random perscriptions
& my last written testament:
it begins...
to my paradox,I have seen the slaughtering feilds,the deranged and dark souls which patrol in the name of their guilds...and it is the soliders I fought ,I'll see thine conquests as a privelege that I caught bliss intimintaly before reality ultimatily bit...privliged,I see the doubt of casulties mimic,the exact courses the souls pivits...some of us loose faith in the wisdom...that dreaming is the key to succeeding

bleeding...being the second part.

but it is an art..this life I mean

it starts and ends with each and every thought we think

concience:the new chiq

this rubber soul
has minds to mold
buses to catch,
topless beaches to explore.
at my core
I'am affordable
worthy of a stroll threw the park
a picnic under the stars
with me,I say
this world is for play
if you would take my hand
theres no telling on what could fill our heart
id claim to be smart,
if it wasnt a lie
I simply smile,
and am at peace in my life
all i do is my best
give praise when its deserved
the only proof being my chest
which beats like bombs
you are

Monday, July 9, 2012

I retired at 21,
hard to say I gave a fuck
bumped some dones,snipped some clones
hard to say I believe in luck
truck after truck,id duck and Id dodge
hard to say I'am as smart as I thought
caught some rights then consequently spent some nights
tangled up in judical attire with meaningless plights
aspired for more,boned some whores
did my chores and spoke my words
hard to say ive made a change
but I still take it day to day
keep my chin in check
glass jaw with razor sharp wit
blasted off on a long ass L trip
ended up here,
all sorts of weird
guess Ill just make the best of it.
three cheers for ammunition,women and whiskey.
and comin up


"you'd be a better writer if you took more amphetamines"
come out dancing with me.."
wormhole boogie
your my little gypsy lady...ill be your lover baby
we can write on blocks of wood set them adrift,
then run into the woods.
let the sun barely peak its head over the cold grey mist
the hard brown lumber crackles and moans
your breathe fills my senses
time alone with you is home...and its perfect...
along with the prayers we see swirl in sensless motion
I hear the crashing of the waves on an exposed earth
I'll be worth a chest full of gold...if youll be the soul I so long for
let me express this head full of words
Im so gone...formal aplogies wont encompass my star wars
but your so beautiful...your smile is abundunt
I could jump into the sky and never think a thought
nor rummage this old heart for humbleness
because your a trumpet
blowing my walls to crumbles
so as I fumble with words
and tumble threw sentences
Id just like to let you know
make me


"head wound city"
her mind a wasteland
what a has somthing to do with this century
it's like we're all damned.
we smoked cigarettes and discussed dental dams
family was the last topic that crossed our hands
I,like her,wondered if we truly even gave a damn.
thoughts swam
our graveyard picnic had suddenly turned foul
signs slithering out of every inch of her mouth
like: "we'd be in love until our hearts gave out"
she would say
that little voice inside my brain suddenly rang
"diz bitch cant get no play!"
this again
another gallon of whiskey down
faded out/
sedated and in a state of paranoia about the state i'm in
its like random bouts with clarity keep me entertained
on a claim to fame train
sprouts of a name
that is a product of THIS brain
but my prayers for rain have been answered
and that rancid feeling in my gut has given in
to a colluss feeling that juggernauts pain
I now understand I was born this way.

Sunday, July 8, 2012


dormant riddles fiddle with the way I praise
been in an' outta comas for the past few days
new lays,
hard times
cannibus & a bottle of wine
smoke billows from the tippy top of my spine
and thoughts poor out of this outstretched mind
& Im caught...between two schools of thought
blotter or coddle
the circumvent of logic
an abscence of matter.
out manned in a foxhole...wormed out on early bird tales
battle rich talks,
boxed up emotions sold as lotion
for a burned out soul
in a chemical trail trying to detox.
I have failed you,my darling
I keep forgetting to mention how alarming it is
that a man can love a woman /so much so/that he cant say
dip quick,to the inn back out by the ocean
in memories it came like motion
chest heaving IN & OUT
beliving in what had bore...and the open sores tore and spored
more and more
I find myself in a dangerous meditation
alarmed by the fact that Im still pacing
and Ive met you
whoever you are
its why I thank my lucky stars
the world still shines light half of its hours

may I never cower so...

empowered tho..

I felt the BEE in my brain STING

how delightful I've grown.

you,your;you're beautiful

I see your face in the constellations
yet I'm still not alleviated from these pains I've been facing
true...its my brain waves which constantly detonate
sending shock waves threw out my primary
synaptic relays
the synchronicity and anonymity signal strong feelings in me
like "will i be reprieved?"
can I make it back to sea?
and if I can,
will our heads be buried in the sand
thinking of newer...
cooler things to think
it brings me back to childhood
next door neighbors house beautiful,older girl teaching me how to do
what I still do so well
hell,I felt well enough to never stop
or shoot
or tell...and that postures a coo
one of many loops
tears &
halos hung upon devil thorns
and yet IM ALIVE
and worn.
I see your aura in the rain
Ive been dancing for it
paitently going insane
hanging on a soul to give
for this one is far from complete
but yours to love
my sweet
so now im torn,with truths to give
am I to bold to say
your the second half of my head.
I see you smile in my sleep

( )

each time you walk into my eyes
i feel aligned
geometric patterns/
rudimentary designs.
your smile makes my soul feel divine
at times/
so debonaire...
it feels like a moment of scarce
as fair as faith
each time we meet/
it seems/
a strange feeling of heat rises from my feet
and to my disbelief
of if i dare to think...
upon my head a reef is bequeathed
swirling images which propel me to new planes of thinking
electing to keep
my balance
and not let a single moment be seized
nor a single thought be malice
and to my head
all that I would say as shall never be shaped
or weighted differently
so calice.
sharpened toothes
clues speak of other pair
heads of fire
and still I dream of you.

Thursday, July 5, 2012


I woke up thinking of truths
the main one being my love for you
long in the tooth,heavy blue skies
without you
its just a waste of time
when I see you tonight
it might be just the same
pitter patter of words
I have no buisness saying
but this brain has known them for years;
which is weird...
sometimes it just takes time to be more clear.
I fear...
that I have no fear at all.
I pray that this dosen't lead to a clear thought
we're to young as it is
and these circumstances
they dont match wits
but your scent,accute senses
writings and head make me pray for forgiveness
more so
I just dont want any suicides on my concience
or enemies to combat with
just a lover to bathe with
a soul to grasp.

Monday, July 2, 2012

fail safe
mentally raped
id take a break
but Im too afraid
taped lines
severed minds
drugged up
all the time
fine lines
between love and fear
chasing shots with expensive
moments in the clear
but no
gallons of tears
challenges from
near death experiences
clear breaths
& refrences
messages in bottles
death in an eclectic sense
tense movements
senses mimicked
all in all
a figurehead of this movement


all along the western wall/mornings come in an is as dreary as a dungeon,I feel the salt in my bones bubble up & over like a cauldron/i feel her in my pelvic bone...I smell the unwashed underarm that turns this heart into an atom bomb/calm,cool and collected I waited till all my scabs became infected,interjected a heart felt speech and left the room to sober down/collected/teeming and gleaming,knowing I would be loved again soon/so heavy my heart knocked on the old cellar door/so ugly my teeth chattered as broken words tumbled to the ground,I had no ill reepoor,no devinaire qualities/my ministry laid in the follys/my calling in the blood of the oddyssey...I unmistakingly so...finally with a pocket full of money,but no such luck with words for poems...unknown,i sailed towards the sun,seasick and halfway drunk...cashing in on the rest of this trust/"fuck it" I thought...just as the blots in my eyes came realigning my ripe,young,intellectual mind//I found breathe in your lungs,a taste of the holy ghost,so I spoke in tounges//convulsing out the memories that had just begun...wondermeant seers me like the most beautiful gift...lifted/above the lake now/I see the pillars of smoke tumble out of your head/foul idealogies/loud bouts of managomy...and I am emotionally drowned//sleep with no sexual sense...let us breathe as one clasping hands/haves/have nots-do's and yet we do them so well/i smell the mornings smog on your unwashed hair/and theirs GOD in your soul...